For the Benefit of All

Some time tomorrow, NASA are holding a press conference to announce... something.

Nobody's quite sure what it's about, but dollars to donuts (or even doughnuts) the announcement will be groundbreaking news about a new scientific discovery which will have repercussions in acadamic fields for decades, but because it's not "Look! Here are pictures of aliens! And they're wearing hats!" it will be ignored by the mainstream media and the public at large.

Trust me. It's happened before.

But until that inevitable moment of crushing despair about the state of the media and of the world at large arrives, let's have some fun speculating on what the announcement might be...

The Debt Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Ladies and gentlemen, Ireland is currently in the midst of a financial crisis that may have no way out. The IMF black helicopters are circling Dublin, while Angela Merkel is having the Irish Central Bank measured for new carpets.

In times like these, it may seem pointless to look for one man who can get us out of these dire straits. Surely, no single person who has the financial and leadership skills to navigate the way to economic stability would be willing to take over, once the current government inevitably leaves office in disgrace.

But fear not! There is one man who would be more than qualified to run the show, and he is one who I am sure would welcome the challenge.

The following are the reasons why Lex Luthor should be the next Taoiseach of Ireland.

Kitchen darwinism, and other things I learnt from prime time advertising.

So, there I was sitting in front of my television minding my own business, when I was suddenly assaulted in the face by an advertisement for some form of household cleaning product.

When it was done, the ad left me with two facts:

1. A single bacteria can become two million overnight
2. Their product could kill 99.9% of bacteria

This, needless to say, raised several questions and concerns in my mind.